So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
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We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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