I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
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Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
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We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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