Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
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Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
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Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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