why didn't you poke me back
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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