So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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