She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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