i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
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