god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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