i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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