She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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