Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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