I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
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If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
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You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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