Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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