i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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