i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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