btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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