hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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