Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize