I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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