I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize