i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize