I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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