So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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