is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Two words: nipple clamps
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