I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
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The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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