so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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