I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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