Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
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she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
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I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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