About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize