i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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