Kiss
Puke
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize