Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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