I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize