Your face is a jimmy john
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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