The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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