I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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