so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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