Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize