i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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