oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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