My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drake has all the answers
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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