Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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