I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize