After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize