you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize