Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize