In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize