So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize