i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize