So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
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There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
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I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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